i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
