Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
