I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
