We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
