just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am midnight drunk by noon
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
