Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
