when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
