final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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