Just fell off a train. Bad.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
