direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
