I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
