Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
