Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
