She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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