Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
