matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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