im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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