That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
