I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
