insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
