So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sext me about skeletons
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
