you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize