her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
