You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
