It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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