is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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