Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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