I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wish my penis had a tongue
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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