I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
