she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
