And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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