The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
