I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
