Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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