He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize