maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
