Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
