She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't deserve a penis
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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