I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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