that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize