It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
