I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
