cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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