It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize