I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
