I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
