they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
