i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize