Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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