I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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