I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
