its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
