You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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