It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize