No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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