hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
