Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
