He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
