I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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