On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
