so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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