i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
